National Report's Hateful Article

The National Report is an online satire site for....no, I refuse to call this news.  And I think the presumption is that because it's satire, it can't do any real damage.  Go to the article "10 Reasons Why People With Depression Are Annoying to be Around," and read some of the comments below.  Not the ones chastising them for publishing such heartless garbage targeting the most vulnerable and damaged segment of the population, but the ones agreeing with the writer.  Damage done.  It's satire and those people aren't responding as one would unless they took the article for truth.  Damage done.

Then a person identifying themselves as "Nigel Covington"--lord, is that a real name???--"Editor-in-Chief," steps in to excuse this trash:

"Dear readers,
I understand why people who suffer from depression see Jane’s piece as being insensitive. She’s a young person who may not share your life experiences. But there is a common message in all of your replies that attempts to educate but falls short since it only considers the view of the sufferer.
~
I understand the importance and desire that any depression sufferer wants support, understanding and love from those around them, but what about the person who opts out of a marriage or a relationship with someone who has depression.
~
For someone who decides to sever their relationship with a depression sufferer to protect their future, the future of their children, or to pursue their dream or their life’s work cannot be considered cold, cruel or insensitive. Abandoning a relationship because that relationship threatens other people’s future, livelihood, mental stability, etc., is not insensitive, cruel or a lack of understanding. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do."

No, what this article is is the most insensitive, self-indulgent, hateful piece of shit I've ever read on the subject of depression.  Because people in this modern day society just aren't self-indulgent enough yet.  So rather than pulling the article, the EIC excuses it.

 I'm not faking thing-Goddamn-Mother-Fucking-One for you.  Not one thing.

I was so pissed off, I considered writing an article titled, "10 Reasons Cancer Patients are Whiny Pains in the Ass" or "10 Reasons Diabetics Drag the Party Down," but that would have just made victims of cancer patients and diabetics.  They didn't do anything to me.  But if an article would have been written like that, it would have been trounced upon.  Nobody gives a shit about depressives and others with mental illness.

The writer of this piece of shit article is Jane M. Agni, and you can see her appropriately prissy-looking profile picture at the bottom of the article.  Jane, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.  Fuck you hard, you prissy bitch.

It doesn't take thing-one to just fucking listen when a troubled friend desperately needs someone to talk to.  Nothing at all.  Only a cold, cruel, insensitive cunt would walk away when listening is the only thing being asked of them.  A cold, cruel, insensitive cunt.  Enter Jane M. Agni.

This generation of self-absorbed kids who spend all day, every day looking down into their tiny cell phone screens have a truly bizarre, fucked up idea of what friendship is.  "I have to listen???  Are you serious???"

Empathy and compassion ARE FUCKING BASIC.  If you do not possess those basic attributes, you are diagnose-ably deranged.  Even a toddler who doesn't yet understand English has an impulse to hug someone who is crying.  I see pictures of it all the fucking time.  So what do you think friendship is?  We just shop together and eat together and get drunk together and that's it?  Yeah, keep thinking that, while depression is damn-near epidemic and people are cracking up all over the place.  Keep thinking that.

Jane, fuck you.  Fuck you, you ignorant, self-absorbed cunt.  You Godless, soulless cunt.  Fuck you.

Any real EIC would have pulled that article.  More than that, it never would have seen the light of day.  National Report is apparently a rag that can't even do satire right.  They should pull the article and apologize to the MILLIONS of depressives in this country.  Piece of shit rag.

There are illegitimate journalists out there who thrive on negative attention.  Why?  Because they go unnoticed with they just do their job, and they're incapable of competently doing their jobs.  Jane falls into that category.

Oh, and none of these statements are true.  The preceding was all satire.  Hope you had a good laugh, but satire's harmless.  It was all in fun.

How do you fucking like it?