Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Depression on Facebook

Okay, so the facebook page is going very well.  I'm still playing around with what I'd call my "format."  I'm trying to maintain a consistent look and posting style.  In radio, we would call this "imaging."  I'm not trying to make it impersonal or commercial, but even with causes and community groups, some sort of branding is involved and you need to help people identify you as a source, whether the thing you offer is a product, a service, or a cause.




And I'm having fun playing around with that anyway.  What a lot of groups on facebook are struggling to do is to make their pages more interactive.  FB has really squelched reach, in an effort to compel page owners to "pay to boost."  I don't mind this if it's a method applied only to commercial pages.  It should never be forced on community pages, particularly those mental health pages that are owned and operated by patients of mental health services.  Many of us are on fixed income or no income at all, and we do not generate revenue through our pages.

Due to their (facebook's) "Pay to Boost" efforts, the average reach of community and personal pages has now plummeted to about 7%.  Many pages, therefore have resorted to posting requests for followers to like and comment, so that the page's ranking goes up.  Following the lead of others, I composed my own meme, and it's a pretty comparable representation:




I've made a few and I varied the wording on each so that it doesn't get boring.  I also post them no more than once per day, but it's still tedious for both me and the people reading my page.  Basically, we're begging our followers to like and comment on nothing at all.  Believe me, we hate posting these requests.

The logic behind this is that reach is increased when followers interact with your posts.  If they like, comment, and/or share, your page's ranking goes up and more people see your posts to begin with.  If there's negative interaction such as "Hide Post," "Hide All Posts," or "Report as Spam," the page's ranking drops and their reach dwindles.




So that's why we're trying to find ways to make our pages more interactive and increase positive responses to our posts.  If you have a page you like, make sure you don't hold back on your clicks and comments.  Even commenting with one or two words helps that page's owner, and you'll see more of their posts.

When I first started my page back in May, I was posting two memes per day.   I realize people like more than one page, and I didn't want to obnoxiously be blasting people's feeds with a ton of posts and second-hand content shared from other pages.  Now I'm up to 8 posts per day, evenly spaced by 1 1/2 - 2 hours, and I keep shared content to a minimum.  Hope it's not becoming an annoyance.




So in an effort to make my page more interactive, I've started asking a question each day, and I've also changed my page settings to allow others to post to my wall.  As to that second thing, I'm still not sure about that.  I've seen other pages get hit with spam posts and with people posting links to their own pages.  I don't want that happening.  I share another facebook page once per day, and I only do it if I've looked the page over and think it's really good.  I also don't do it in order to get a share in return.  It's nice when it happens, but I never ask for it or expect it.

So no, I really don't want people to link their pages without asking me first.  I'll see how it goes there.  If I think it's getting out of hand, I'll disable that setting again.  Considerate people PM me first, asking me to share their page, but unfortunately, that's not everyone.  It's not even most.

So all I can do right now is keep putzing around with things until I get a format that works well.  And if something's not working, or people find something obnoxious or not particularly helpful, all I can do is hope they let me know before they unlike my page.  


Thursday, December 11, 2014

Staying Out of the Bell Tower

There are a few outlets that keep my rubber bands from breaking under the strain, and I've had none of my usual coping activities this past year.  Let 2014 go down as one of the worst, most dismal years in my 51-year stay on this particular rock that goes hurtling through space.  It doesn't sound like much, but the only way I can keep somewhat stable is by way of writing and fishing.




Writing is something I haven't been able to do since the end of 2013.  No concentration, no focus, tons of brain fog and despair.  As to fishing, I suppose I could have gone out there without a license and took my chances.  In all the years I've fished, I've only been asked to produce my license one time, and that was because I (unbeknownst to me) was fishing on what was public property but property where fishing was not allowed.  I saw no sign.  The official (I have no idea what they're called) respectfully explained my error and then sent me on my way with a smile.  But if I hadn't had a license, the penalties could be stiff, including suspension of the privilege, and not being able to fish at all for a year.

It's only very rarely that you're asked to show a fishing license, but I still decided it wasn't worth the risk.  So no writing or fishing in all of 2014.  The sun went away and the snow came.  I just want this year to be over.




I'm not big on 'diversion.'  Running away from problems doesn't make those problems go away.  So I came to deeply resent multiple attempts by friends to 'get your mind off your troubles,' usually by way of some banal, inconsequential activity.  I had things I desperately needed to talk about, and no one interested in providing real comfort and support.  Despite this, I have two activities that would fall into the 'diversion' category, and by design, they're both solitary preoccupations.  These keep me out of the bell tower, as I said, and I was denied both in all of 2014.  Stick a fork in this year.  It's done.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Crossroads and Life

I wasn't sure I was going to continue the DNC Facebook page, but I just topped 1,000 followers and it does bring a little joy into my life, so I'm going to keep with it.  I love making the memes.  I love combing the internet for quotations by depressives on depression.  It's a creative outlet for me, and that's something I need right now, since I haven't been able to write since 2013.




I used to write children's stories.  The one I self-published is still available in ebook form on Amazon.  I'm not trying to peddle my book, but my writing is/was a huge part of who I am.  You can get an idea of how I express myself creatively.  They have the free 'peek inside.' 

And before I retired print copies, I ordered a few, and getting a real book in my hands that was filled with the story I wrote was a huge huge deal for me.  It was exhilarating.  When I found myself roadblocked on writing, I was six chapters into a suspense novel.  It was my first foray into full-length adult novels.  Not 'adult' as in porno.  Adult as opposed to children's.  I thought I had quite a unique plot idea.  Then the iron gate came down.  I haven't been able to write ever since.  Depression's not something you can just write through.

Another huge thrill for writers--even self-published ones--is finally seeing your book's cover.  I had been writing these characters for years, and finally got to see their faces.  I got a cover and several interior pictures.  I was on cloud nine.


http://www.amazon.com/Mickey-Gargoyle-Portal-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B009YC961Y/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1


I wrote my book under a pen name, Northern Adams.  I had started on a second book, as Mickey and his Gargoyle were to be serial characters.  I was also working on a new serial to be a modern-day Encyclopedia Brown or Harriet the Spy, and had started the adult suspense.  I had depression, but was still able to function enough to work on my stories.  It's now been a full year since I could write a single word.  And this isn't regular writer's block.  I'm completely stone-walled.




And this failure to write compounds depression because it's a personal failure.  Correction, it's another personal failure sitting on top of a huge pile of personal failures.  My current theory is that in addition to the brain-fog and loss of concentration and all the anger and resentment that comes with depression, I might be able to start writing again if I can somehow write about my depression the way Elizabeth Wurtzel and Richelle Goodrich did.  Maybe that will be cathartic or therapeutic for me.

If not, then I worry that it's completely dead in me, writing for joy and fulfillment.  I'm not a person who can just bounce around, living life in the moment and for the moment.  I've always had to have something to tether myself to.  I feel like I woke up in someone else's body--a dead body--and now my life is just day after day of walking that corpse around in the world, tethered to nothing.  I'd give anything to have my life back.